Today I asked myself a few times, is all this really worth it?  I have faced challenges in my life and in this ministry but nothing ever equipped me for what I have experienced in Dominionville.  How I long back to my people of Olifantshoek, people who never knew me, but opened there hearts to me. People who never stood in the way of loving and reaching every person in their community..  I thought discrimination was something of the past, but daily we discriminate against our fellow citizens, some are too rich, others not rich enough. Some have car’s that’s too fancy, while others not fancy enough let’s not forget the class issue, either you have to much class or you have to little, and then of course the big one, you either too white, or not white enough…

Today as I walked into Tshepong hospital I just wanted to run away, I feel as if from every direction it is coming.  Politics and innuendo is now the order of the day, I asked God why?   No-one is willing to do this, I most certainly can’t afford to do it.  Why can’t I just close it down, just draw the covers, lick my wounds and give-up on all of these people?  I most certainly would love to have my hair done, second hand clothes is so awesome and I ask God to bless the hands and hearts who give them to me, but if Jesus JunXion closed down, I could afford my own clothes (and they will be new) I can have my nails done, and I can afford to see my husband more often.

We go without luxurious like meat, so that we can buy more of the other food that is easier to share, but still it’s not good enough,  and yes I am human a piece of meat would be awesome every now and then, hot water every day instead of once a week would be amazing.  Why must I struggle so hard to share with a nation that wants nothing from me.

AND GOD ANSWERED and said:

“Because, I asked you too.. I face this challenge every day, and I have not given up yet…Who do you think you are, to have that luxury…”

So yes, I stood up after my tantrum session red faced and very apologetic, shook off the dust, wiped the tears, nursed the blisters on my feet and decided to not allow the enemy to drown the voice of a Savior who came to save and restore His people.

So I opened my phone and the first picture I saw was Oom Piet blowing me a kiss as I walked out the door, already I received something more valuable than hair, nails or meat… Lord, forgive me!